My name is Rubio because I am blond and magnificent and I live at El Valle Don Pirón which is a very specific and excellent address. Don Pirón has a particular feel — it is quiet and green and the mountains here are extremely close and dramatic, like they decided to stand right next to you personally. I have a blond coat that catches the afternoon light in a very cinematic way and I walk through it knowing this. The frogs here are especially good singers — I believe the acoustics of the valley make their songs extra resonant — and after a big rain they perform a concert that goes on for hours. I listen to all of it from my spot under the guava tree. There is a second Rubio somewhere in El Valle. We are both excellent. This is a fact.